Be Still

One month.

It’s been one month since I packed my bags, loaded them up, and headed to the airport.

It’s been one month since I left my home in Canada in tears to say hello to my home in Haiti.

It’s been one month since I said good bye to family and friends and said hello to my new family filled with brothers, sisters, and friends.

It’s been one month since I said good bye to my church family and small group and joined with the joyful voices in Haiti worshiping God in devotions and church.

It’s been one month since I left my crazy life back home to adapt to my crazy life in Haiti.

It’s been one month since I left the comforts of home, and life in Canada, to live in hot, humid Haiti where things never go as planned and you never know what’s going to happen.

It has been one crazy, amazing, joyful, sad, and incredibly humbling month.

My first week in Haiti was tough.

I kept thinking I couldn’t do this.

I couldn’t possibly be away from my family for so long.

I couldn’t live without the comforts of home.

I thought there was no way God would have called me to live here for 6 months if I was feeling so upset about it.

I felt like there was no way I could survive 6 months here.

I remember being so excited to come before I got here. It was like time was standing still and my departure date was never going to come. People would constantly ask about my trip and I would gladly tell them my plans, thoughts, and dreams. I remember packing, and repacking, and then repacking again to make sure I had everything and that everything was packed as tightly as possible. I remember spending my days and nights thinking about what the kids were doing in Haiti right at that moment. And I spent my days getting more and more excited about this new adventure God was leading me on. Until it was time to say goodbye.

There were so many good byes. From my co-workers, my friends, people at church, and family. I was so tired of saying good bye by the time I left Canada. I was more than ready to start saying hello again. My first week in Haiti was filled with a lot of hellos and it was great but there was still one last good bye that I was dreading. Brian had picked me up from my house, drove us to the airport, and we got on the plane together. Brian stayed for a week in Haiti but then I had to say good bye to him too. He was my last piece of home, my last good bye. The day he left I wanted to go with him, I wanted to run after the van and beg him to take me home with him. To not leave me here, so far away from everything familiar. I wanted to get on that plane with him and drive back home. That was a hard day but as he drove away, I realized that God’s plan for my life is not always easy, nor does it always feel good. It’s not always sunshine and roses; sometimes the moments that grow us the most are the ones where our hearts are breaking and God is making us into something new. God was growing me in ways I never thought possible, and it was hard, but so so worth it.

In the weeks since all my good byes I have learned and grown in amazing ways. Yes I still miss home and can’t wait to see my family and friends but God has given me a wonderful family and lots of friends here in Haiti. The comforts of home still cross my mind and once in a while I get a hankering for McDonald’s french fries. But life is bigger than french fries and iced coffee.

In my first month here, I have seen and heard of heartbreak; stories that are beyond your imagination. I have spent nights in prayer for the hurting children, and families of Haiti. God has placed a desire on my heart for the people of this country. My faith has increased immensely while being here.

I have learned a lot of useful skills while I’ve been here. I have treated countless illnesses, done things I had never tried before, and learned valuable lessons.

One of the biggest things I feel God has been teaching me this past month is just to be still. Exodus 14:14 says “The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still.” My every day life was on the go, run run run, and busy as I could be. When I arrived in Haiti, I tried to do that. My first week I felt completely off because I was used to being busy 24/7. Here God has taught me to just sit, and be still, and pay attention to what He is doing and saying. I have taken more time to pray here and meditate on what God is saying to me than any other time in my life. I feel more in tune with Him, and because of that my faith grows daily.

I can honestly say I love being here in Haiti.

I love the work I am involved in.

I love the people I work with.

I love all the kids so much.

I love the food!

I love laughing with the employees as we try to sort out the language barrier and end up making crazy hand gestures to figure each other out.

I love worshiping with everyone at church and devotions.

I love the beauty of this country and am breathless every time I see those mountains.

I love seeing how God is using this ministry to bless people in the community and how He is changing lives.

I thank God every day that I am able to be a small part of this ministry and see His blessings being poured out.

I love that I can call this place my home and really mean it. This place truly will always have a place in my heart.

Please continue to pray. Pray for the kids on the compound. Pray for the employees. Pray for the kids and families in the community. Pray that they would come to know Jesus. Pray that He would direct their lives. Pray that this ministry would continue to make an impact.

God’s got some great things in store over the next five months and I can’t wait to see what will happen next. Don’t forget to slow down and realize all He has blessed you with. It’s easy to miss it when we try to run through life. Let Him take care of the battles, and just be still.

~Joce